Chutzpah!

Yesterday I was surfing instagram and came across a reel of Dame Helen Mirren. She is a very famous Hollywood actress. She is 78 years old and looks every year that she has passed with a smile on this planet.

Her face is full of wrinkles, her hair is absolutely silver and even in her youth, she was never considered a great beauty. 

What was it in her that had me so mesmerised? 

She neither possesses youth or extreme beauty, yet one cannot overlook her; 

She isn’t the most famous or the richest, yet her aura is such that she can’t be ignored.

Then what, you might ask, is my point in bringing her up?? What is different in her that she deserves a mention at all?

Sometime back, I had come across a wonderfully tongue twisting word – “Chutzpah”, which means fearlessness, an attitude, courage and what we call in today’s lingo “having a nerve”. At that time I couldn’t relate this word to any face swimming in the archives of my mind. But somehow the word stuck in my memory.

Upon looking at the absolute brilliance of the smile, attitude, confidence and class of Helen Mirren, this word suddenly flashed in my mind. No other word can describe her. She has the ultimate “Chutzpah”!

Don’t we all come across individuals, who have nothing exceptional to boast about, but there is such an elegance, a charm in them that we cannot forget them. The fire and light in the eyes and the truth and brilliance in their smile brightens up everything around them. The sparkle in the eyes and the zing in the smile shines way more than a perfectly contoured face or perfectly positioned facial features.

Isn’t it the same with so many other aspects of life? 

A small gushing rivulet of water causes more joy than the vast, quiet ocean;

A not so cute and disproportionate looking, but happily jumping pug makes one more happy than a beautiful husky;

A not that pretty, but giggling child makes the eyes and the heart happier than a solemn model walking a runway;

A wild, swaying bush soothes the soul more than a staid looking huge tree;

A simple piggyback ride gives far more pleasure than a trip to a playstore….

The examples are inumerable!

What is it about confidence and bravery that shines more than any standard beauty protocol?

As someone wise said, “Beauty is the opposite of perfection. It’s about Confidence, Charisma and Character”

I would like to add “Chutzpah” to it too!!!

The still waters…

Have you ever seen a deep blue pond?

Its waters are still, just ruffled sometimes softly by the singing winds or shining like crystals when they are indented with the falling raindrops!

No outward force can malign its perpetual calmness or smiling quietude. 

And then, some part of it starts going about in a whirl and the circles of disturbance spread far and wide, till the whole pond is a big, deep mass of whirling, tempestuous and distraught water.

The calmness, that no outside force, however strong is able to disturb, that same peace and stillness goes haywire from a small bubble within.

Isn’t this the same with our minds? 

The strongest of us, who remain unfazed and solid when facing all the harshness, cruelties and disasters that life throws their way, crumble like a pack of cards when their own mind starts playing tricks on them!

What the taunts of the world couldn’t undermine, that same mental stability is broken by a debilitating injury;

The sparkling smile that the bitterness of the people couldn’t wipe, the same can be dissolved in tears by the hurtful overlooking of one’s own kid ;

The slaps or kicks, delivered by various people over the years can be forgotten easily, but a worse pain can be felt in the barbed comments of a loved one…..

The mind is such a complicated mass, yet it takes so little to make it happy! 

The toothless smile of a baby,

An excited welcome from a furry friend,

A decadent piece of chocolate cake,

Raindrops on the eyelids,

Wind blowing in the hair,

A meal cooked by mom,

Meeting a childhood friend,

Taking impromptu trips……

These things cost nothing but count so much!

Just like the big tempests can’t ruffle a lake, but a small bubble inside can cause upheaval; the physical trials don’t break people, but mental anguish does. 

Everything is summed up in this beautiful saying in Hindi, “Mann ke haare haar hai, mann ke jeetey jeet” (If the mind loses hope, you too lose and if the mind is focused on winning, you too win)

After all, it’s all a mind’s game!

Again and again and again!

Many years ago, a wonderful series was aired on “Doordarshan”, the only Hindi channel of an era when Netflix and Prime videos were yet a thought in the womb.

This was the time when mobile phones hadn’t made their presence felt so dramatically, there were no hankerings of social media, computers were in their nascent stage and families still sat together to dine, surrounded by bouts of laughter and lots of sharing and bickering around the dining table.



So, circling back to the said series. It was called “Udaan” (flight) and was the story of a girl, who was born in an affluent family of landlords, but due to the mysterious workings of fate, found herself and her family stung by the bug of poverty. The tale goes on to reveal how from a young girl, she steps into adolescence and then goes on to achieve her dream of becoming a superintendent of police.

So it’s basically the story of her trysts and tribulations and is narrated and presented in a very interesting and appealing manner.



The point of bringing up that story here is a dialogue from that series. That one single dialogue, rather that one single line has stayed with me over the years and has unconsciously and surreptitiously became my life’s mantra whenever I stumbled upon a problem.

The scene unfolds with the girl’s father, who used to be a landlord, and due to a cruel turn of fate has now become a daily wage farmer in his own lands. He is shown ploughing the field with the young heroine in tow. She tries to help her father in whatever way she can. So when her father sees a huge boulder in the middle of the field, he steps away from the bullocks he is guiding and tries to remove the huge rock from the way. The little child also tries to help him, but the boulder is too big and too heavy for them. After some time, they both sit down panting. She turns to her father and says, “What if the boulder doesn’t budge?” To which her father replies, “Then we will try harder again…till the time that it moves!”




And this single line transforms the girl’s scowl into a smile and fills her with renewed energy. Eventually, after lots and lots and lots of effort, father and daughter are able to move the rock and pave the way for the bullocks to keep on ploughing the field.




Don’t we all need this very line in our lives ever so often?

To try and try and try and try till we succeed?

As even if we don’t get the desired result, at least we will learn the many ways that the task could not be done. There is no failure in life, just lessons on how something cannot be done. Failure is when we put down the arms and refuse to fight.


As Lord Krishna says in Geeta that the job of human-being is to do their karma by giving their hundred percent. That is all there is in their hands, as the result is in the Lord’s hands. So why worry about something that isn’t within our power? Why not do whatever there is and do it to the best of our ability?




Because as the saying goes, “It isn’t over till it’s over!”

Handouts!!

Yesterday I was randomly browsing instagram and I chanced upon a video of a wrestling match between 2 middle school kids. Now you may all be wondering as to what was so great or mentionable about that. 



The match was between a normal, or in other words a physically fit kid and a special child. 
Here, one out of two things could have happened. Either the stronger child could have very easily subdued the weaker kid and won the award:
Or he could have allowed the other child to win just by falling down and lying prone. Both the scenarios would have taken just seconds and both were in the control of the physically fit child.



The amazing and the noteworthy thing was that the kid did not choose either of the two options.


Rather, he put up some fight and allowed the special child to make some efforts and fight a little and after a tussle of five to seven minutes, the able child pretended to fall and very smartly (and may I say with utmost care) wrapped his arm around the other child and pulled him on top, so that there was no doubt about the special kid’s win!




In another instance, I saw some youngsters trying to help the homeless and the poor by giving them a month’s worth of groceries. But they didn’t want the homeless to feel little or embarrassed. So they very smartly (again I would like to say showing utmost sensitivity) sneaked up behind these people, who were either sitting on the pavement or on a bench, just dropped the bag of groceries behind them and stealthily walked away. 
The joy and the tears on the faces of those people upon seeing the bag and realising that they wouldn’t have to sleep hungry for some nights was priceless…maybe that was reward enough for those youngsters.










That got me pondering…








We all want accolades for the good that we do. Be it getting awards for an achievement of being honoured for a good deed….Acknowledgements are always desired.




Then what made these youngsters help someone without the wish of being patted on the back?
What drove that child to allow his friend to be in the limelight when he could so easily have stood on the podium?
What joy did these people derive from that obscurity and anonymity?






Nobody wishes for handouts. Every human soul is born with a certain pride and ego and the feeling that someone is bestowing upon them something, without them having to work for it, is similar to a beggary. 
And no one likes to be a beggar!




Maybe the thought that the Almighty has chosen us to just be a medium and he wishes to help someone through us…..this thought alone is the driving force behind such acts of benevolence.

Where the person just derives joy is witnessing someone else’s joy without any ego or the thought of supremacy that “I DID THIS”.


Maybe the only sentiment behind such acts is caring and a whole lot of sensitivity for other breathing and living beings!




As Denzel Washington has so correctly and beautifully said, “At the end of the day it’s not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished. It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back”

Holding on….

Have you ever seen kids holding on to their favourite toy……however old, tattered, ragged, dirty or gross it has managed to become over time?

However much anyone tries to pry it out of their hands or tell them that it has become useless, they still don’t wish to let go. It becomes a sort of an obsession and a habit for them to keep that toy close to them.

Maybe it gives a sense of security to hold on to something from the past,

Maybe the fear of losing something precious convinces them to do so,

Or maybe it is the fear of what would happen if they lose their blanket of security.




Many times this same habit of holding on to the thing that we cherish the most spills into adulthood as well.

Thus we see people try to make mental vines around things, other people, emotions ….practically any living or non-living thing that their heart desires the most.

So you have parents trying to smother their children with love and care and things, many times in the hope that the kids wouldn’t wish to fly away the moment their wings are strong enough to take them across the skies,

Then there are people trying to impress others with money, knowledge or intelligence to gain people’s validation and attention, so that they would be the centre of attraction whenever they walk into any room,

Women are more attached to their homes and things and men hold on more to their status and position in life,


But the thing that both men and women alike don’t wish to part with is youth!

No one wishes to accept the cruel hands of time, which keep on ticking away and leave their marks in the form of greys and wrinkles. Hence the eruption of creams and lotions and potions and colours and contours….all with the single minded purpose of keeping the skin as smooth as a teenager and the body as lush as an adolescent!

Whatever the reason might be, letting go of something that is dear, is very hard.

Why this attachment to the passing time?
Why the desire to keep things exactly as they are?
Why the fear for the future and the love for the past?
What causes us to hesitate and hate moving forward with the tides of time?

I read somewhere, “Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again”

So instead of holding tightly and be strung with the weight of the shackles, why not enjoy every moment, every greying hair, every wrinkle, every up and down, every flight of our child towards higher skies, every friend, every relation, every season, every changing colour of the horizon and every passing breath and bask in the moment of the present?

As this moment once gone, will never ever come back and all we would be left with is the memories!!!!!

View….on point

Sitting atop 10 floors in a high-rise, offers unhindered and astounding views of life passing by. I can practically see the sky folks and the people belonging to the gravity-exerting earth….all at the same time!

The chirping of birds, combined with the cackle of kids,
The merry laughs of women taking a walk, in contrast with the serious discussion done by the men folk, taking the same walk,
The hand in hand evening stroll of lovers,
The rapid speed of teens,
The breeze-enjoying swishing cycles carrying adolescents…

All this can be seen from my humble window.

What can be more entertaining than watching the actual footage of life passing by?

Sometimes my eyes get stuck on a small girl playing with her teddy in her balcony, totally ir-responsive and unbothered by her harried mom trying to feed her morsels in between her chit-chat with her toy,

Some other time I can see a gentleman swinging his arms and swaying to the music playing from his headphones, oblivious to the honking horns and the noisy traffic….lost in the melody echoing in his ears and warming his senses,

Then there is the rushing woman, who has bags of grocery in her hands…maybe trying to get home fast so that she can cook her kids’ favourite curry,

Many times I see a lone person sitting silently on the wooden chair, maybe meditating or maybe lost in some moments of times gone by,

But my favourite is the fruit and juice vendor, who has her cart parked just under my building. She always has a smile on her face and a pep-in-her-step…no matter what time of the day it is; whether it’s scorching hot, drizzling rain, sultry humidity or cool evenings…she is always serene! Almost in a meditative state, where no outside condition can ruffle her state of calm.

Life goes on, unwavering, unstopping, unbiased and undeterred. Whether we can keep up with it or not is our choice.


To crib constantly of the wrongs meted out to us or to be happy with whatever we have been doled out by that almighty…It is all up to us in the end!

As Helen Keller has so rightly said, “The best and most beautiful things in world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart”

My feather-brain realised that maybe one has to live without the blessing of sight and sound like her to realise this amazing truth!!!

The costliest thing?

While taking an evening stroll on a lovely Saturday evening, with the lovely spring breeze caressing my hair and the fragrance of leaves combined with the excited chirping of kids playing on the grounds soothing my senses: I came upon an abrupt and somewhat disconcerting sight of a woman sitting alone on a bench and shedding quiet tears. She was so quiet and lost in her sorrow and hidden in the shadows, that if I hadn’t heard her hiccuping sob, I would have completely missed her presence. Something about her vacant eyes and the sheer agony etched on her face drew me in and I couldn’t stop myself from taking a seat next to her on the bench. I didn’t know her language and neither did she know mine, yet somewhere I felt bound to her by that thread of sorrow which binds all the living beings together, whether humans or animals.

She glanced at me. I asked her with my eyes whether all was Ok and she started sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t control myself and put an arm around her shoulder, just patting her gently and being with her. I sat beside her for about half an hour, during which time her sobs eventually subsided.

Neither of us said a word.

After some time she smiled at me and I just patted her hand and went on my way.





This reminded me of an instance about a month ago. I had visited my office headquarters and met some of the people there, many of whom work in different departments and don’t communicate with me on a daily basis. Being a normally affable person, with a perpetual smile pasted on my face, I am usually quite friendly with people around me. So I talked and smiled and greeted everyone around.

After about a month, I had to upload some required official documents. There were 2-3 people along with me who were also uploading their documents and they were doing so without a hitch, but I, being somewhat technologically challenged, was having a great problem doing this.

Help came in the form of a colleague, who was assisting us online. She realised that I was lagging behind and she privately messaged me and personally walked me through each and every form, so that I didn’t make a fool of myself in front of everyone.

When I thanked her for her help, she told me that she remembered me from my visit to the office and that I was very friendly with her even though I had met her for the first time.





These instances made me wonder.

When did we forget the natural art of smiling at our fellow human beings, even if they aren’t known to us?

When did sharing someone’s sorrow become so unthinkable?

When did being polite, friendly and gentle become such unknown qualities that someone remembered me just because she found something positive in me that she might not have usually encountered?

When did we stop being natural and became mechanical?

These days, if we speak to an unknown person or smile at a child, people look at us with distrust.
If we walk on the road humming to ourselves, people think that we are mad.
If we sit beside some sad person, just wanting to lend a shoulder, everyone feels that we must be having a hidden agenda.
If we just look happy, everyone asks the reason!

Why should there be a reason to be polite, happy or friendly?

Isn’t being alive and healthy a good enough reason?????

I remember a scene from an old movie “Anand”, where the main character is dying from cancer. As he has just some months remaining, he tries to befriend anyone he seems to like while walking on the road. Most people think that he is mad and avoid him, but one person who is a happy go lucky person befriends him. Months later, when he is on his deathbed, his friend asks him as to why he came and talked to him, and the hero tells him that he wished to make at least one friendship without any agenda.

Just like that!!!!

There’s a famous quote, “Be nice to someone for no reason. You never know when you’re going to need someone to be nice to you for no reason”

Self-reign or “Sovereign”?

26th January is India’s Republic day. The day our constitution was formed and we declared ourselves a “Sovereign, socialist and republic” nation.




Out of this, the one word “sovereign” has always struck a chord with me.



What exactly does this word denote?




Is it to free ourselves from all shackles that bound us and become our own masters in the physical sense or does it also involve the freedom from mental bondage?

Is the body the only thing that strives for self-reign or the mind and the heart too wish for the same power?

Are we truly free when we aren’t physically subjugated or does true freedom come from being mentally, emotionally and psychologically free??






Just some days back, I met a friend, who is in her forties, yet seems to be in her twenties. She’s pretty, is very fit and there’s not a single wrinkle to mar her pretty face. I for a fact am totally jealous of her and I presume, so are all the other women who aspire to become like her!



So as usual, when I met her and complimented her on her eternal youth, instead of feeling happy, she looked morose. According to her, she has started feeling awkward and somewhat unhappy about her never ending youthful appearance. From her speech and actions, I gathered that she would have been happier had she looked her age!






That left me wondering…






More than half the population across the world is obsessed with beating age and escaping the scars given by the fangs of time. The wish of looking eternally young is the backbone of the beauty market.

Hence the tsunami of all the potions and lotions and concoctions of getting that flawless skin, “jissey aapki umra ka pata bhi nahi chalta” (the tagline of a popular beauty soap)





Where hiding all the fine lines, sags, snags and wrinkles is the norm, there’s a specimen who’s flustered and irritated because she doesn’t seem to age!!!!!




Aren’t we ever free of wishful thinking or desiring what we do not possess?

Can we never be satisfied?

Is bliss, contentment and peace so elusive??




Is “Poorna Swaraj”, a state of total and complete freedom from all that bounds our minds and hearts, a mirage?





As Osho says, “Freedom is something inner. It is of the consciousness. You can be free anywhere – chained, in a jail, you can be free – and you can be unfree outside the jail, in your own home, visibly absolutely free, but you will be a prisoner if your consciousness is not free”

Focus!

The hindi word “Chetna” is more on the lines of consciousness, but here I’m using it in the context of single minded focus; a concentration so deep that it involves the centralisation of the complete consciousness at one single point.

It can disclose itself in a myriad of ways, for n number of things and in a variety of contexts or situations.

But one thing remains common. The consciousness flowing in different directions in the human mind is centralised at one point, so that there is a blast of energy, which makes the almost impossible seeming tasks possible.

This is what Arjun did when he pierced the eye of the revolving fish figure overhead, by concentrating his “Chetna” on its reflection in the water below.

Dashrath Manjhi, a name synonymous with inhuman mental strength, focused his inner energies, when he began forging a road through a huge mountain, all alone, with just a tiny hammer and a chisel. So acute was his focus and will that he was at it for 22 years and he managed to do the impossible….all alone!!!  

Yes, 22 years of single minded perseverance was what it took for him to forge a road through a mountain, single handedly, unheeding to the jibes, discouraging words and taunts of his friends and family.

They say that love makes a person develop godly strength. This must be the reason behind a poor tribal from a rural area in the remote state of Madhyapradesh in India, to carry his heavily pregnant wife, who was in labour, on his shoulders and practically run for 40 kilometres, through dense jungle, on a dark rainy night; to reach the nearest hospital in the city… Isn’t it unimaginable?? 

Then there is Jasmin Parris, who broke the world record for Britain’s toughest race just months after giving birth. She finished the 268 mile race in 83 hours, 12 minutes, while stopping time and again to feed her infant daughter!!

Finally there is the example of Ernestine Shephard, who started training at the age of 50 and became the oldest female competitive body builder at the age of 80!!!

Also James kearsley, the 19 year old boy from Australia, who faught and defeated cancer, TWICE,all with a huge smile on his face…

What can we call a woman, who drove 200 kilometres on a scooty, just to bring back her son stranded during the 2020 lockdown.

Brave?? Or simply, A mother??

 What can we call this??

Will power?

The extreme desire to win??

The never say die attitude??

The ultimate belief in oneself??

The aversion to the word impossible??

What drives these people? What keeps them going? What type of genetic composition do they possess which lacks in millions of others, who resort to suicide, depression, drinking, and wasting away their lives, the moment something inconvenient happens, which is averse to their wish!!!

Smile goes a long way in quelling fears.

The same can be said about the brain too. Thoughts make us. If we believe that we can do it, then we will do it.. No doubt about it.

But if we allow the trickle of doubts to seep into our brains, then the focus is divided… Half is fighting the thoughts and the other half is juggling with the effort.

They say that there was a frog who wanted to reach the highest branch of a tree. All other frogs started screaming that its impossible… Still, he made it. How??

He was deaf…

So he could just see his counterparts and assume that they were cheering him to go on. This strengthened his will and focus and he could do the unimaginable.

Be the frog!!!

Work or (work) out!

Work!!!



Nobody likes to do that, right?




There is something nasty and oh! so unpleasant and tiring about doing the same chore over and over and over, again and again, day after day, year after year….


Even thinking about how many “again” I’ve used makes my eyes become glazed and my brain sluggish!!








So if even thinking about the routine, mundane tasks can cause this absolute flow of fatigue in my brain and body, we can all imagine how “dragging-my-feet-to-work” type jobs really mess with the overall joy of life.








But then again, there are some professions, that give that immense feeling of satisfaction and pleasure  (even if the said pleasure is sordid and sadistic) to the person who’s in the perfunctory “chair”!!




The one profession where you are actually paid to twist, turn, torture someone,
make money out of the grunts, grumbles and gags of that said someone,
AND derive pleasure out of the trips, tears and trysts of the same someone!!












Oh yes!






You guessed correct. I’m talking about those amazingly built, beautifully proportioned and confidently trotting about specimens, who call themselves “Physical trainers”.










There is no soul more sadistic than them and no person more miserable than their “clients”.








They smile when we scream, 
Are satisfied when we black out,
Are happy when we wail,
Consider their job well done when every bone in our bodies scream,
Move with a swag when we wobble on our legs,
Raise the hand in a salute when our shoulders seem to detach themselves from our core,
And just sit back and watch our miseries unfold….






All the while just counting and recounting…
“one……two……three…..
just there, you can do it,
Push, push, push,
And then you’re free!”






What better job-description or job-satisfaction can there be? 
I mean, can these people ever be frustrated?? As all their frustration must be “weighed down” by peace, while watching people grunt and grovel and dance and twirl to their tunes?






And the best part!






They get PAID for driving people nuts,
For feeding people nuts,
For overall blasting everyone’s nuts 
And that’s all in a nutshell!!